Friday Fictioneers – The Return

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She stood in front, wanting to get lost but seeing that possibility would be quite impossible. The maze couldn’t be her escape, it was small and the hedge was only waist high. She closed her eyes and felt the morning air on her cheeks, crisp and still. With her eyes shut, she knew, looking for momentary escapes like this was no longer the solution. A soft wind blew across her and she opened her eyes. It blew toward the road, away from the inn, and she followed it, away from him asleep in their room, away from his words, away. As she walked with the wind, she felt her own self, her old self, return—the friend she had been missing for too many years.
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Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories prompted by a picture that Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posts every Wednesday. Around 100 people participate, their stories and poems are brilliant; check them out here.

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35 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – The Return

  1. I agree with all the other comments. I love how she is taken away with the wind (risk) and, to get away from his words (her decision), finding herself that was lost (reward). Reminds me of – “it is in taking risks that we realize that which is truly significant.”

  2. I like your take on this and how you set it up. You get me interested wondering what she’s looking for and what she’s trying to escape so badly that she might look for the possibility in such a small maze. So I’m interested there. Then you spell it out for me without s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g it out and leave room for me (the reader) to still have some space to interpret what exactly she’s escaping about him. Their room? So are they on vacation? Why such need for escape even on vacation? I definitely feel the emotion and longing in your character as well.

    Good job!

  3. I like this, its a nice piece – the pursuit of change, reverting back to a prior self. Nice.

    But… “…the hedge was only waste high…” I think you mean ‘waist’ not ‘waste’ (I seem to be seeing homophones everywhere!).
    Cheers
    KT

  4. I wonder if she likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain? Obviously, she can’t be herself when around this guy. I like the subtle style you used to lead us through this maze. Well done, Rachel.

  5. I’m sure many can identify with the desperate urge to just get away from difficult situations, or people, and finding peace in the solitude of a natural setting. Sometimes the temporary escape is enough to re-energise us, but sometimes a more permanent escape is the only thing that works. Well told.

  6. Great use of the image in the prompt to create a metaphor, which, ironically, the character then rejects – a nice twist. And I like the idea of the “missing friend” too 😉

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