Upward Mobility – Friday Fictioneers


I could see a Samsung store, but the concourse was too crowded. There was no way I could get there… unless…?

I stepped on a gentleman’s shoulder, a bold move. He wasn’t happy about it, but before he could protest I stepped off his shoulder and onto an old lady’s head. She yelled “get off me, you twit!” I pressed on, stepping on someone’s baggage next and then onto a young mother nursing her child. She said, “What the hell are you doing,” to which I thought a mother shouldn’t be using that kind of language, but moved on without saying a word, lest I offend her.

Once at the Samsung store, I looked back at all the people who helped me get there, a monumental achievement I thought, but they looked angry.

And when I came out of the store, they were all gone. And so was my flight.

But at least I had my new phone.


I believe this is my worst offense yet at being over in word count. I apologize. I did edit it down from its original form, but honestly, there is no way William Faulkner ‘killed all his darlings’ either!  😉

Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories inspired by a photo that Rochelle Wisoff Fields posts every week.  This week’s photo courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.

23 thoughts on “Upward Mobility – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Dear Rachel,

    Yep, that is quite an overage. It will be reflected on your next bill. 😉 I would take offense if a perfect stranger stepped on my shoulders to reach her destination. Interesting piece.



  2. That’s a pungent comment on our obsession with new gadgets. Who have we hurt in our pursuit of consumer goods? Quite a long list, I fancy, starting with Planet Earth.

  3. It’s a great story, Rachel, and has a unique twist. I hope you’re not missing the point, though, in the 100-word limit. I had to cut my own first draft by about 80 words this morning, and it truly is painful. But the end result still told my story the way I wanted, without excess verbiage to cloud the point. For me, this has been a remarkable learning process. Keep to the challenge. Ultimately, you will be glad you did.

  4. Makes one wonder just how she managed to walk all over everyone!
    It does seem like society has become a “Me, myself and I” society…
    Well done.

  5. The protagonist lacks etiquette. As the world becomes more and more diverse we need manners more than ever.

    A good capture of where we are headed, if we’re not already here…

  6. For a new and latest electronic gadget, we can go to any length. Stepping on someone’s shoulder and head is almost nothing.

  7. Mememe, that’s all that counts, me and my new gadget. And then complaining about the young mother’s language, the nerve. It’s funny in its selfishness. Sadly it’s also true. Great story, and I join the choire: try to do it with the 100… you can, I’m certain. 😀

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